Saturday, February 08, 2014

I am trying to think more clearly but it's difficult. It's not easy to think clearly after a lifetime of seeing but not thinking. Clarity doesn't just happen, it requires effort, it takes time to look at a the events that take place around us and then study how we responded to those events in a rational way.  So often my response to life has been less than rational as I have allowed some automatic response guide me.  The automatic response to events was often the wrong response, but since I was not thinking it never occurred to me that my response rather than the actual event was the real issue. How much of my life have I wasted not looking at things as they really are, but looking at them through some cloudy lense that distorted my view.  I need to "wipe" my lenses and start seeing things clearly.  There was a time when something would happen, some minor thing, that could et off an angry response that was not rationally related to the event.  My imagination, my attitude, my past would distort the event and it would become something much larger than it was.  I am working to look at things as they are and respond to them in a rational way that isn't anxious or depression inducing.  How often in the past did I respond to something by allowing it to take me over? To often. 

Time to set aside my emotional responses and think.  Experience.  Think. Respond.  Always first think and make sure that my response are coming from the event rather than from some twisted view.  A glass breaks and I sweep up the glass and put it in the trash. I don't fall apart and think I am some idiot that can't do anything right!  Something goes wrong at work, and I don't look upon myself as a failure ignoring all of my successes. I make mistakes and deal with them, I don't allow them to take me over and define who I am.  I am in control of my mind.